A couple of days ago, as Small was tearing up and down the pavement on her pink bike, I saw a pair of dogs. They approached, wagging their tails and I soon discovered from a passer-by that they had been seen wandering down by the Ribble the previous day. By this time the dogs had scampered up the road.

These dogs, wet of nose and shiny of coat, were clearly used to people and confused so we gave them some water and some cat food before ringing the council’s dog warden. I was advised to put the dogs into my car and take them to the RSPCA where the dog warden would be waiting. This was easier said than done.

Small had wasted no time in naming the dogs: Matthew and Oliver. Matthew was a small (perhaps twelve inches from his paws to his back), slim black dog with a white chest, white paws and erect ears. Oliver looked like he could be Matthew’s father although he was black and tan and perhaps only fifteen inches high. Putting Matthew in the car was simple: one sniff of cat food and in he bounced. Oliver was cynical. No amount of bribery would get him in.

I rang the council again: I would be unable to take the dogs so would they please collect?

And that was it for a couple of hours as the dogs played in the drive and made no attempt to escape.

To cut a long story short, the message was never passed on to the dog warden and, by the time I rang back, she had finished work. The police could not help as they are not insured to carry animals. It appeared as though we were stuck with the dogs for the night yet we couldn’t keep them inside as Butch (the cat) would have been less than impressed.

In time for tea, we managed to find them board and lodgings with a neighbour. Cue howling every time the two dogs lost sight of Small and me.

The experience has been a significant one: by the time the dog warden came to collect them yesterday morning, I was considering adoption and so was Kate. The warden believes that Oliver matches the description of a lost dog from the previous day and I have asked the RSPCA to keep us informed as to what becomes of them both.

Just one thing, would you please disable the alarm on your way out?

Cheers.

• Bookshelves for cookbooks
• A tall radiator
• A sink with chopping board
• Recycling bins
• A utility cupboard
• Wine rack

This post isn’t really intended for public consumption. But if you’re really interested in our dream kitchen then I’m sure you’ll be fascinated when we post some pictures of the current horror…