"We've searched dozens of these floor tiles for several common types of pheromone trails. If there were intelligent life up there, we would have seen its messages by now." The world's first ant colony to achieve sentience calls off its search for us.

After a month or more of campaigning, the Fishwick by-election concluded yesterday in a rather substantial victory for Labour county councillor Jennifer Mein.

It would be dishonest of me not to own up to feeling rather deflated but I’ve learnt a lot, received a tremendous reception from others on the ward and feel I can deservedly view the whole experience as a fine springboard for May, when the seat once again comes up for election.

To be beaten by Labour’s leader on Lancashire County Council and by the woman who, up until last year, represented the ward for the Liberal Democrats is no disgrace.

But next time I shall have to remind my agent to wear his lucky yellow socks.